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The Number One Mistake Most Dating Sites Make People give a shit about websites, and sadly a lot of them are just out to make money. What this means is that you don’t have to pay to use a certain service (unlike, say, Craigslist), but you’re also not getting honest information from these websites. They can be valuable resources, but if they’re not run by people who share your ethics, or at least your values, then chances are you’re being sold a little something. Here are a few things to look for when researching your options. 1. Be specific in your desires That sounds weird, doesn’t it? Or maybe you think this is a stereotype, but bear with me. Whenever you talk about your wants and needs, it’s important to be very specific. So if you say that you want to date someone who is “kind,” then don’t say it in a very broad fashion. Do this by asking yourself if you want a “nice guy” or a “sweetheart.” I’m not trying to say that saying “nice” and “sweetheart” are the only two ways to be nice and sweet, but if you’re trying to describe yourself on a dating site, be specific about what qualities you want to see in a date. Your profile should be more like a resume, and you should be telling people what it is that you want from them and from a potential partner. 2. Wait for the right person to message you Now, I know this sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many people are single and just browsing for dates. Once you have a profile up on one of the various dating sites, it’s your job to keep an eye out for the right person to message. Try to be selective when you are receiving messages, and look for people who share your specific interests and offer something new and exciting. 3. Be selective with the people you send messages to Go ahead and be open, but try not to be too forward with people. Once someone sends you a message, you can respond just once, and if you receive a response that gets into it, that’s all. If you respond twice—or more—you might seem more interested than you are. If someone sends you a message and you don’t have the time to reply right away, then let them know. 4. Being totally honest is the most important thing This is a no-brainer, but because it
Photo by Alan Ng. Like What You’ve Read? Subscribe to our free newsletter and get the latest net.girl news delivered to your inbox. The Basics When you’re just starting out, it’s easy to see dating from one to many extremes. There’s the popular approach of setting a date and then, with the threat of a common resolution looming, letting all potential suitors know that they’ve been spotted. Or there’s the less conventional approach of setting a date, then spending your week anxiously waiting around for it to get here. I’m not saying this is the best way to go about it, but it’s a pretty common approach. However, there’s an alternative that may be just as appealing to a potential partner, and also more intriguing for the person doing the finding. It’s called finding someone by yourself—or self-finding, as it’s known in the software-engineering world. If you’re using a popular app, someone probably stumbled across your profile, got curious, and messaged you. (Those are not impossible) Self-Finding is like online dating, but you have complete control over who gets to know you. You have complete control over who gets to know you. You spend as much time as you like getting to know a potential mate, and the time you spend doesn’t have to be a “getting to know you” date. You can be entirely comfortable with yourself. It’s not for everyone. It’s not like the approach that the popular dating apps require, where you make an account, submit a profile and a bunch of photos, and wait for a suitor to come to you. That’s been happening on both Facebook and the popular dating apps for a long time. However, there’s nothing wrong with waiting around for a few days to get to know someone better. Sometimes, that’s exactly the approach that works best. Myself and More Photo by Amanda Leonard. However, it is possible to take this approach and approach it with some confidence. You may be the type of person who doesn’t want to just wait around for someone to approach you or speak to you on a public forum, like your Facebook profile. You want to approach people yourself. You have interest in finding someone. That’s why I am the perfect person to introduce you to this self-finding approach. I’m an entrepreneur and writer, and I’m open to a variety of different circumstances. It might be that

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